"BodyTalk answered a question I didn't even know I was asking."
When I look back at my life, there is nothing particular to blame for the overwhelming and scary feelings I noticed as an adult (Ha! blame in my first sentence, am I in the right job or what?!). I grew up in a loving family, went to school, met a man, got married, bought a house, had two kids. Everything seemed pretty normal and right on track.
And then one day when my kids were very young, I realized that I had been suppressing a great deal of anger for a very long time. Actually, someone close to me pointed it out; I couldn’t even see it for myself. In my anger I didn't speak to them for a week. But they had identified something happening inside of me that I couldn't put into words, and certainly something I had no idea how to truly express or address. When I started exploring and looking deeper I realized that a great deal of emotions, experiences, and rules for life were also suppressed inside of me and the build-up was so big I was on the verge of exploding in a big way. It turns out that the anger was hiding a very deep sadness, and although I didn't know it at the time, I had lost touch with the very core of my being, my deepest sense of self. This got layered with a whole range of other emotions, especially fear, that I did not know how to feel or express. Because I didn't know how to do otherwise, I blamed others for how I felt and spewed my emotions on whoever was closest to me.
As these emotions became more and more intense it was getting harder and harder to hide them and keep living life as usual. I had to find a way to deal with myself. I knew that talking wasn't the solution; I had a sense of something being held in my body and I knew in my gut that more talking and intellectualizing wasn't going to change a thing. I also knew I wanted to find a way to address the root cause of whatever I was experiencing - I didn't want a way to merely cope; I'd already been doing enough of that and it wasn’t working anymore! So I went searching, and eventually, through a series of seemingly random events (thank you universal self for showing up for me), found BodyTalk.
BodyTalk answered a question I didn't even know I was asking.
My overwhelming emotions, which were just sign posts to point me back to my true Self, masked a question I was too guilty and ashamed to ask out loud but had been rumbling inside of my head all along: "Is this all there is to life? Really?" It felt so ungrateful; my life seemed perfect. My only possible response to not having an answer was to blame everything and everyone around me for how I was experiencing life. I didn't know how to take responsibility for my own experience without more guilt and shame, and any more of that stuff might have done me in for good.
The consciousness comes first perspective of BodyTalk and CLI answers my question, which perhaps is your question too: There is WAY more to life than what I was experiencing! And now I have the tools and skills, and most importantly, the inspiration and courage to cultivate my own self awareness without needing to blame anything or anyone. Ever. This perspective shows me time and time again that blaming is the reaction of my fear driven mind. When my mind is calm I can be open and curious about every single thing I sense, think, or feel. Long held patterns of beliefs, emotions, and rules for life naturally integrate back into my wholeness when I am willing to take conscious responsibility for myself and my world. The internal connection to myself I thought was lost forever didn't even need to be fixed, just revealed in its never-ending wholeness.
I now understand that even the revelation of my own wholeness is not the end – in fact, there is no goal. Being curious about myself and playfully engaging in my work is a way of life that means an open, heartfelt experience in every moment. I cultivate this in my daily life as well as through my business Spring BodyTalk and the work I do with Show the Hell Up.
I can’t wait to have you along for the ride 🎢!
By living life from a consciousness perspective I am continually deepening my own understanding of the BodyTalk System, consciousness theory, and staying up to date with new and refined CLI processes.
I am currently taking a two year class with Lonny Jarrett in Chinese Five Element Theory and Pulse Awareness Techniques in Massachusetts. His theory of Nourishing Destiny compliments my practice and the ways in which I can experience and collaborate with my clients and students.
I also hold a Masters degree in International Development and have various leadership and facilitation training and experience.
I'm currently offering private sessions in Kentville and Hammonds Plains Nova Scotia as well as by distance. I regularly offer Introduction to CLI, CLI Level 1 and BodyTalk Access workshops.